“Back to work…” it says in the title of this post, but I know that I am not just talking about my new job. Yes, the Lord has led me to a fun and productive job back in retail, working at a small electronics store selling phones and TVs and radios and computer cables and such. I enjoy a small store because there is so little drama at the local level. I really don’t need drama in my life after three months without a job. Not that I necessarily struggled during that time, thanks to the kindness of friends and family–and thanks to a well-timed retirement payout. Nonetheless, my time since December has been filled with a bit of my own problems as well as others. It’s nice to be somewhere with little of that.
And just in case you hadn’t noticed, I haven’t been writing much these past several months. I will admit that after my sabbatical last fall, the Spirit seemed to be leading me in another direction, preparing me for something else. Honestly, I almost think that the Spirit of God was allowing me to “store up” some grace to get me through my time without a job. But the really wonderful thing is that I feel like the Bible study I have been leading on Friday mornings has been really flourishing in that time, that the Spirit has truly given us insight and understanding during the time when I wasn’t working or writing. I cannot lay claim to any special anointing in that case, but I will give credit to God for enabling me to stay focused on His Word.
I have struggled in other ways, too. My old sins and temptations came back to haunt me for a while, and depression reared its ugly head, too. I have been truly blessed with a lot of good friends and a wonderful girlfriend and a merciful God–all of whom have helped keep me from falling too far away from the path of God. Did I fall? Now and then. Am I fallen? No, not as long as I allow myself to continue being formed into the image of Christ. Au contaire, I am sanctified, justified, and even glorified in Christ Jesus!
Romans 8:28-30
28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
29 For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren.
30 Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified.
But I have to admit that being away from writing daily on my other blog has been kind of rough on me. I have felt like I was letting God and others down, that I wasn’t fulfilling His calling, that I was losing touch with His Word. Many days I would get up and suffer from the worst writer’s block you can imagine, and I would feel like the Spirit had abandoned me. Yes, I know that’s nonsense, but that was how it felt at the time.
Many times, as I would be listening to a sermon or reading something in preparation for leading the Bible study, I would see a verse and say to myself, “That is something I need to write about.” A whole message would pop into my head, and I would make a note of the verse on my phone or on a scrap of paper. But then when I had the opportunity to write, the urge to write was gone, or the message had utterly disappeared from my mind. I would look at the verse, and the only good word I would get is that while I might not write about it, at least I myself was getting the message. Yes, that ought to be good enough for me, and it would be good enough for just about any believer, but I always felt as if it wasn’t enough. I wanted to be doing more, but the–I don’t know what to call it–the confluence of desire and inspiration and motivation and grace was just not there on a daily basis.
But now it is.
Now I finally feel like I can get back to work, that I can wake up every morning and sit down and write what He wants me to write. I have again that “whatever” that makes me able to look at a bit of Scripture and have a message just flow from my fingertips or mouth with words that I believe are worthy of God and His abundant mercy and power and grace.
I pray that this does not go away. I have never felt God’s presence more strongly in my life than when I am sharing His Word through teaching and ministry, and these daily messages have always been a highlight of my day. Yes, in more ways than one, I am glad to be back to work again. 
